Help Wanted: Need more Red-Bull

Ever feel like you're running a marathon and you just can't see that yellow ribbon at the end? That's how I've been feeling. Running Hepthatlons like Jackie Joyner-Kersee , bouncing from here to there, a spoon of peanut butter for breakfast, an apple for lunch, coffee as a snack, yapping away on the phone on conference calls all day (Bueler? Bueler?), running to the hospital to check on dad, help mom with the house and bills, wash car (ok, I shouldn't have to wash the car, but I take pride in waxing mine to death by hand..plus its good for your triceps...or biceps..I forget which one.)
Oh, so back to the point, I need multi-tasking tips. And this is odd of me to ask because I can paint my toenails while modifying the philanthropy section of my resume, saying a dua in my heart, and keeping an eye on the kadhai gosht on the stove...but how do you squeeze in 3 days into 24 hours? What's your version of being able to AIM/Facebook/G-chat/Confcall/catch Eli Mannings stats/wonder what the heck Heath was thinking/scroll through NYSE and see how well AAPL is doing these days/research new laptops/pay your bills online/set a reminder to call your best friend on her birthday/curl your hair/sip some Irani chai (no milk, lemon and equal only pls.), draw up a contract for your RE client/and remember to take your Vitamin A so your skin still glows aaaaall at the same time? Lemme know, I need to squeeze like 6 more things in. And that's all by 10AM. At this rate, I might as well have been an ibanker in NYC...at least Duane Reade never runs out of sugar-free Red Bulls.

Fun Quotes from Desi Love "Networking" Website

First - I'd like to thank a friend for sending this to me, its one of the best pieces I've read on Loooove in a while - p.s. its from CNN which is also impressive:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/01/17/love.songs/index.html

Next - laugh a little...

"I'm not hitting on you, I just like your picture..hehe. R U single?" ( why do people use onomatopoeia like "hee hee, hehe, etc? Anything besides "haha" and "heh" goes into the creeper bucket. )

"Would you consider me if I'm willing to reside in the USA?" (willing to? would you really?!Promise?!?!?)

"I am a medical scientist...like a doctor." (But. Like. Not.)

"Here is my number XXX-XXXX..you can call me." 3 Days later.."You can call me now if you want." a day later Did you call me? because I told you that you can call now."

How many doctors does it take to....

Disclaimer: With all due respect, I always did want to go to medical school but didn't have the stamina to go to school for 18 years. Blog not intended for audiences under 25 or over 31. Parental guidance is not recommended because they'll scoff in horror. and to all my med school/resident friends...I applaud your plight, your 200K in loans and that fact that you actually want to do some good for humanity...but make sure auntie and uncle aren't doing this kind of flighty career-math at your expense either. Much Love.

Oh...you will not BELIEVE this...well actually, if you're desi, you just might. So I wake up and do my morning gmail-check for real estate, Gtech, friends, etc..and of course...the un-named site that sends me depressing emails each day sends me this message:

"DrAnon,Compatible,working asResident inRadiology(MCPS)CPSPinKHI ,Preparing USMLE,goUSA,2join Residency,08.WeR serious,2 marry himApril,08inKHI,2livewith wife inUSA .Dr.G.Mujtabali ,Atlanta is relative,9Drs in familyReply Soon nSend 2-3Pics nCell#-DAD"

Is this not so so, so so so, sooooooo wrong? Count how many things are wrong with this message. Then count the commas. Then count how many times he's mentioned doctors. Then count how many doctors are in your family and email me ASAP. No please don't. Now, I love Grey's Anatomy as much as the next person, I've spent the last 3 months in the hospital with my family but really...what is wrong with people these days?! Furthermore, it makes it sounds as if there are no other respectable professions out there! I mean, doesn't this family of 9 doctors ever need a real estate agent? A lawn guy? A banker? Who does their nails? But the sad part is, its not their fault. Its our society of value-confused, mediocrity-fearing, priority-mixing desi families who've proven that if they up the quota of medical professional contacts, then their family stock improves consequentially thereby making it ok for this dad to go so far as to email me the wedding date too! Lord, where did I go wrong? Now, the saddest part of this (no not the abominable grammer, although that too is disheartening) is that people like this are everywhere. And who knows if they really have 9 doctors in their family or if they just have people in the medical-related "field?" And since they are desi, they probably counted a family member who has a friend who works at store next door to a hospital scrubs/uniform shop in some outlet center too. And from my experience in the past 5 years, can someone please tell me when did chiropractors, nurse practitioners, lab assistants, hospital social workers, medical equiptment salesman, physical therapists, pharmacists, blue cross blue sheild reps, and Glaxo-Smith-Klein sales personnel all become doctors?
My extremely humble suggestion for the father of DrAnon and others who share their life theory is to A) stop making nurses and pharmacists and Glaxo-Smith-Klein reps feel like they aren't fulfilling their life's destiny B) stop insulting my moral fiber by thinking I will actually glance twice at a message if you try to lure me into sea of (termed used loosely) "doctors"..(who by the way are people too so quit acting like their personalities are devoid of the "I am a jerk" gene) and C) do your son a favor and find him a doctor-wife too so you can call it an even 10.

New Low...or High?

I've hit a new low. Seriously, now I'm the first one to admit that I do have flaws..we all do. I have issues with patience, can get emotional about things I believe in, occasionally am late (hey..only by minutes regardless of what my super-punctual friend Betsy would say), have the tendency to wear elaborate ensembles to..say...fill up on gas or take the trash out (shh Linsey, I live in Charlotte...I have to find excuses to wear my outfits!), I have trouble making a decision on where to eat dinner (Goldyn usually picks), am terrible lax when I'm super-booked and need to call my best friends back (sorry Nadia/Linsey/Sana), but my new flaw...I just can't seem to find the "one." So I joined one of those matrimonial websites. oh yes, yes I did. My mom even told me not to. She said "hmm...I think its where all the lost cards from the deck go." what does that mean mom?
Could I be a lost 8 of diamonds? or a 5 of clubs? Ah..so many phrases come to mind..."go fish"...trying to "make a pair"...ok, so actually there aren't many card idioms to relate that too...maybe its a Paki-land thing. either way, its not bad on there. I just haven't met anyone I want to marry yet. I'm giving it a shot, I mean..its actually become sort of an addiction to see who's viewed my profile or messaged me...it might...even be my new high. I think I'll give it a month. After that, I'm changing my trial-and-error method back to meeting people at the gym although I don't think I've ever done that because I'm trying my best to stop wheezing from my mileage runs...or maybe I'll meet him in the vegetable aisle over squash or some other horrid stalky food I would never eat....who knows...I leave it in the hands of Allah, He be knowin' best.

my abs hurt

Today - my abs hurt. And I'm sooooo happy about it. In addition, I perfected my recipe for Hot and Sour soup. I drank the perfect cup of unsweet (sweetened with equal) tea, met the nicest male nurse, and found a new perfume. I have better muscle mass and eat more protein. InshAllah daddy will get better soon. Things are good mashAllah se. Yeah, things are good.

My Nose Ring Fell Out....and I Couldn't Put It Back In.

I was walking home to the parking deck in the freezing cold weather and as I sniffled the cold back and wiped my nose, I lost my nose ring. Once I sneezed it out, another time it just fell out in my sleep. And yet still, I refuse to put a back in it. Why? Because then it'd be bound to my nose. It wouldn't be able to leave my face whenever it wanted, dropping to the ground or in my car at an accidental scratching of my face or a good nightly washing. I'd hate to have it think it owes me anything. After all, I've only given it the most colorful and ever-changing background on which to shine against. I've only allowed it to rest against one of the most sensitive and most analyzed parts of me. Why SHOULD it be thankful that I carefully picked it amongst the millions of thousands of perfectly good nose rings - colored ones, stronger ones, bigger ones, better looking ones.....and gave its mediocre self a home? I'm sure it would have been happy on the face of some rebellious 16 year old -- surrounded by 8 other piercings, grossing out senior citizens and preppy kids everywhere rather than being revered as a unique and beautiful ornament? I'm sure it would have been just as great on the face of some greasy latina who has nothing better than to bear 3 kids at 22 years of age and move onto the next "papi" of the month. So....when I was walking back tonight and my nose ring fell out of my face and on the ground, I was about to bend down and pick it up and take it back and clean it up and put it back in my nose. But then I stood back up, leaving the nose ring on the ground...in the pile of frozen dirt on the ground, in the same path that a million people had walked all over with their dirty shoes, spitting freely without a care in the world. I left it, I watched it lay there, glimmering only a small spark unlike the dynamic disco ball of light I'd given it. Because if it didn't love my nose...if it didn't appreciate the many times I'd cleaned it up and put it back where it always laid, then it never belonged there to begin with.