I found myself spawning through profiles on a "match-making" website a while back and I swear I meant to blog about this earlier but never could find the time (see the previous 2 blogs.) So now that I have a free minute, let me toss out a few tips on things dudes should NOT do when joining a website for the purpose of finding their soul mate/love-match/future partner in crime/whatever.
1. Do NOT, under any circumstances, put up a profile picture of you in sunglasses. One word: FOB. And the funniest thing about these dudes is that you never see them wearing Gabbanas or Ray Bans. You only see the ones from circa 1985 with the dark black circles and the obnoxiously prominent silver or gold lining. So gross. Pictures of people in sunglasses should only be taken on vacation or during sporting events against scenic backgrounds with preferably more than 2 people in it with you. And for absolutely no reason should that be your main pic on any website unless you are one of the following: 1) a liar 2) a World Series of Poker professional or 3) a cheesy, creepy, fob.
2. I once came across a slanted picture of a guy in scrubs. And it wasn't JUST a pair of scrubs. It was like some Party City costume complete with the paper hat and face mask...I'm surprised he wasn't holding his bloody gloves up too. Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate your attempt to prove to the gold-digging female population out there that you are well equipped to handle the burden of their 24kt gold dreams. But is this 'proof' of your profession really necessary? Personally, if you must be in scrubs, can I at least get an action shot of you covered in blood, pumping someone's heart back to life?? Gimme something to work with here...don't just put up some gay snack lounge picture of you (and only you) posing to the right of some 17 year old microwave. Unless you're not really medically ordained to do anything and are trying really, really, REALLY hard to make your lie believable. Then by all means, pose away "Doc!"
3. Don't pose in your lab coat either. Cheapster.
4. When writing a synopsis about yourself, try not to describe yourself by telling us you are "a good looking guy," "quite handsome," "pretty damn hot," "would like to think you are blessed in the 'looks department". Are you telling me this because you know I'm probably not going to think that about you on my own once I see your pic? You know, the one of you in your sunglasses/scrubs/white lab coat?
5. Taking pics with other girls: So hot. Oh wait...so NOT. My personal favorites are the ones where you guys haven't cut the girl out well enough and I can still see the side of her sleeveless arm or golden curls sprawled on the left collar of your suit jacket. If you don't have any pictures of you without a female cuddled up into your armpit...go find a friend and ask him/her to take one of you so you don't have to come off as such an obvious douchebag. Or.....at least learn to crop well.
6. The "IN YOUR FACE!" pose. You know the one. The pseudo-Nike ad taken against a pitch-black or graphically enhanced psychidelic background, the dude's face close enough to the camera for me to count his pores, the "AAAAAH" mouth and bug-eyed look optional. Stop it, you're creeping us out.
7. Posing with your car: proceed to do this only if you own a McLaren F1, AC Cobra, Lambhorgini, Aston Martin DB5, or Ferrari F50. And this should preferably be accompanied by a picture of your car title blown up showing you and your co-signer's signature. Otherwise, congrats on the M5. If you're a cool person, I'm sure I'll see it later and you can meet my Kia Sedona at that point too. LOL
So I hope that's helpful..best of luck in your pursuits!
9 comments:
To add to that, how about the flashed out pics of girls where you cant even make out the nose!
Make a list of things you hate that us girls do and I'll give you a guest spot on my blog next week! =)
Let me compose my thoughts and when I have a long enough list, I will send it to you!
#5 and #7 are spot on.
madeha, bitter does not suit you well.
Well to begin with M5 is an awesome car :-) But I guess you are one of those ladies who prefers driving an Automatic :-). I was wondering, what should guy do to attract your attention. Also why are YOU needing to use match-making websites?
Rated PG-13 (for language)
DISCLAIMER: All (characters) that appear in the description are real, and any resemblance to a person living or dead is purely intentional ;)
The fairer sex can try avoid these;
1. While a good picture can increase the hits to your page, DO NOT post pictures taken eons ago when you had that 'juvenile charm'. Why the F do i care how you look decades ago. Show us a recent picture.
2. Showing Deeepppp Cle.. Sorry, decollete.
3. Posting a pic taken in a bar or with a bottle of Wine (What a fantastic wife you'll be to someone)
4. Dyeing your hair blond(e) (A desi blonde??). If i want to marry one there are better ones to try.
well done Riaz!!
A Good one on the related topic;
http://msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=9893&menuid=1&lid=429&ap=1
Here is my pick of favs:
“You must love dogs/cats/kids.”
“I want to meet a man who can prove to me there are still good guys out there.”
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